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Writer's pictureKim DeMoss

Choosing Joy Over Fear


Fear. It’s there just waiting to creep into a situation whether we want it to or not. We may be having the best day of our lives, but we have that chilling dread that something has to go wrong since the whole day went well. Does this sound familiar?


We are surrounded by things that can bring us fear, dread, and anxiety, it doesn't take much to find it waiting in the wings, ready to take center stage. Modern culture and society thrive on our fear factor, news stories with highly charge headlines, social media posts written to get your attention, etc. We can easily fall into the trap and become fixated on the negative traits that fear brings out in us. It’s a fixed mindset we develop over time, but overcoming it is possible.

One thing to note is that we always have the choice. A choice to choose how we respond and react in every moment of our lives. Every day is a fresh, blank slate for us to explore and be happy in; we have the choice to make decisions that bring joy, keep us happy and at our peak. Our emotions are a product of our immediate actions and the goals we set for ourselves.


Think back on a past experience that was challenging. What was your go-to gut reaction? How could you have reacted and/or responded differently? It's never easy to admit when we could have handled something in a more positive impactful way, but that's what keeps us learning and growing! When we can acknowledge our shortcomings in a non-judgmental way and instead of giving ourselves a hard time, we simply acknowledge a new and different path, that's when true inner growth happens. It takes practice, but overtime we'll begin to shift into a growth-mindset as see things with a new perspective.


Although fear is inevitable, we can actively mitigate its effects on our lives by choosing to live in the moment instead of fearing the future. The cliché may sound trite, but living in the present does impact our mindset and emotions in the long run. By taking the time to appreciate the world around us and its beauty, we get the chance to enjoy and savor the life that we should be grateful for, the one that is right in front of us, here and now. Increasing our fear and anxiety for the future by always focusing on what’s to come rather than what is there only makes us lose the possibility to experience true joy.


Think about this for a moment, when was the last time you did something that truly brought you uninhabited joy? Something that brought you to that place deep down into your core happiness. Do you even remember the things that can do that for you? Chances are, you've got a running list of likes and dislikes in your head, but have you stopped to actually write down the things that bring you joy? In moments of anger, frustration, and boredom, it can be easy to find things to do, but do they really help you transition to a place of peace, happiness, and joy?


Taking time for yourself gives you a reason to be happy and joyous; by reflecting on what we should be grateful for in this world, we get the chance to choose happiness over potential frustration. Being appreciative of all the opportunities and love we are given and the love we give others is one of the most important parts of the intricate puzzle of happiness. Instead of fearing all the reasons why we might not be happy, we should accept and act on the idea that we have the choice to be happy.

With all this being said, ups and downs are inevitable in our lives. Oftentimes, we fear the unknown and are scared to be joyful during our happiest moments. Pushing through and deliberately choosing joy over fear every chance you get is the real key to true happiness. Shifting from fear to acceptance is when we make space for the feeling of joy.⁠

I encourage you now to sit quietly, meditate and tune inward. If you need a little extra motivation to help guide you, consider joining my upcoming Learn to Meditate Challenge here to learn how to be more comfortable with the quiet space in your mind. Then grab a pen and paper and make your list. Write out what brings you joy so that in those moments of chaos and anxiety, you can visually SEE what can bring you back into a place of balance and harmony. And then actively choose to do something on your list at least once a week if not more! Then let me know how it's going, I want to be there to celebrate those joyous moments, no matter how big or small they may be!





** If you need guidance or get stuck in this exercise, reach out! You can click here to become a VIP and get access to exclusive content that helps you find your balance, mind, body, and soul, as well as a one-on-one coaching session with Kim.

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